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NEWS
Fifty years ago a woman at a University Dental School won the class medal in her fourth year. Despite this success she was not promoted to fifth year. She and the other woman in the class were asked to give up their places to two male students as too many students had made it through to fifth year so the two women were automatically eliminated. They had to wait a full 12 months before being readmitted to the faculty to complete training. Such treatment would be impossible in the 21st century, but a review of boardroom statistics shows that the number of women who get top positions is still surprisingly small despite equal education opportunities and equal (often better) academic achievements. The boardroom still remains a male dominated domain. The business world allows women to achieve senior positions grudgingly, and often appoints a woman only to pay lip service to gender equality. This so-called "glass ceiling" has created perceptions in the minds of both men and women that men do the job better. However, when women do get the opportunity to rise to the top, the company benefits from the different dimension women bring to the table. Because men have a long history of business success and women are relatively new arrivals on the business scene, there is a perception that men do everything better. The forgone conclusion is that men have more experience; therefore they must be better suited to the top spots. When it comes to negotiating, however, I would argue that women are the ones with the experience. Women learn to negotiate from a very young age. Boys seem to assume their rights and demand or take what they want, then carry this sense of entitlement into adulthood. Girls, on the other hand, have to work out how to get what they want and they do this by negotiation. In every aspect of life, whether as a daughter wanting to extend the curfew, as a mother or as a wife, women are negotiating every day. A man tells his wife he will be home late due to a work commitment. A wife negotiates permission from her partner for a late meeting, and she usually has to give a lot to get that permission! Men have the advantage of other males as role models at the negotiating table. When a woman negotiates she usually finds it difficult to model herself on a man and frequently has to work her way through the minefield without any precedents. For example, emotion may come into a negotiation from both sides, but when a woman displays emotion it is labelled "hysterics", whereas a man "loses his cool". Such irony! It is important to remember that negotiation does not only happen at a formal negotiating table so women need to recognise when they are negotiating and learn from their informal experiences too. Women negotiate every day with clients, with colleagues and bosses, and with life partners and other family members. Too often in these personal negotiations women allow guilt and emotion to affect the way in which they handle the negotiating conversation and the outcome leaves them feeling they have compromised too much. This contributes to a self-perception that women find negotiation difficult and something to be avoided. Coaching is the key to unlocking the potential women have as negotiators. To be effective in any negotiation, be it an interpersonal conversation or a critical company contract, women must develop and fine tune their negotiating skill. Women need opportunities to be trained as negotiators, to learn how to manage and use their emotions during the process and to retain a calm composed demeanour - even when the process gets rough! Although women negotiate instinctively, understanding how to use the negotiating process, what the pitfalls are, and how to approach a negotiation enables their natural skills to become a powerful advantage. Businesses have a huge untapped negotiating resource right under their noses - with a lifetime of experience - and they are not giving this experience recognition. Women come to the negotiating table with different perspectives to their male counterparts. Both will identify the core issue but women add the softer dimension. Too often a man enters into a negotiation with a woman with a preconceived perspective about how she will react during the process. He assumes she is soft on people issues and he will decide in advance that this is an area where he will not make a concession. The female approach will be coloured by people issues and she will factor in the impact of the decisions on other people, be they team members, customers or clients and other work colleagues. Most women are by nature nurturers. Negotiation for women is not black or white. They look at the shades of grey as they contemplate the picture. Men can view this softer side as a sign of weakness and negate the soft issues. It is not weakness, though, as it is an approach that brings balance to the table. Every successful negotiation must have a win-win outcome, not only for the parties at the table, but for all those affected by the decision. The important aspect for women to remember as they prepare for a negotiation is to keep the main issue as the primary focus. Key areas for discussion must be identified and separated from the softer issues. Thorough preparation will enable them to meet their counterparts on an equal footing. This does not mean ignoring the soft issues. Careful preparation and planning identifies how those soft issues will be introduced, what can be conceded and which areas are beyond the bottom line. In the planning possible outcomes can be thought through and the impact of each possible outcome identified. Ladies, personal development is the key to unlocking your potential as a negotiator. Coaching and training will enable you to:
Happy negotiating! Louise Chain
Louise Chain is a Sydney based Executive Coach, accredited by the Institute of Executive Coaches and a Member of the Australian Human Resources Institute. Louise was Executive Director of Workgroup Distribution in South Africa from 1991 until she emigrated to Australia in 1999. She contributed to the growth of the company from a start-up to the leading Software Distributor in the country. She led a team of 60 people and her role involved negotiating contracts with vendors and working closely with resellers to negotiate contracts to supply software licences to South African corporations.
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