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NEWS
One of the most important recurrences of thought must surely be the ability to negotiate liberty for oneself. Liberty extrapolates into trust, and liberty is defined as the fulfilment of one's individual freedom in line with established personal values and self worth. Giving of freedom, or trusting, is the relinquishing of all controls. Giving freedom perfectly is trusting implicitly. Los Angeles (LA) California "Building and Safety" has a large division of governance over the buildings and properties of the city of LA. Staff of this division consists mostly of engineers, administrative support and fire safety officials. At the helm are the Commissioners, elected officials that can make or break a deal. In my position as representative and negotiator for the philanthropic owners of the Historic Queen of Angels Hospital, I had to deal with the Commissioners as they were the only governing body that could determine a ruling on an extended occupancy of the building that had previously been condemned. The first time I stood before the Commissioners in a public forum, before any relationship of trust was established; I was questioned, challenged, chastised and humiliated for seemingly an eternity thanks to my predecessor's lack of compliance. I had no negotiating power and, in no uncertain terms, was told to get the building in compliance or suffer severe consequences. Trust is an interesting concept for negotiations. Can one earn trust? Trust would then surely be defined as conforming to the expectations of others. Trust is intangible and is not a controlled commodity. Trust must be exuded as part of one's natural state of being. One must have personal integrity for trust to ensue. I say personal integrity because just plain being a good boy or girl and conforming to all standards of life will not attract the negotiating trust I am talking about. The negotiating trust to which I refer is the value of uncompromising self worth that is intrinsic in all of us. However, this innateness doesn't show up until we are hard pressed to be honest - honest with ourselves. When you trust an individual you are intrinsically motivating them to be responsible. The LA fire department Plan Checker gave me the highest of compliments. I was one of only two individuals in all of Los Angeles, with whom he had engaged his professional services as a fire prevention expert, where he was fully trusting. The High Rise inspector became a friend. Would I ever go back on my word to these individuals who trusted me implicitly? NEVER! The converse is also true; if you mistrust the individual, you are judging them for something that they may or may not be guilty of. If one is already deemed guilty there is not much reason to remain innocent, judgment has already occurred and the penalty of mistrust is thus inconsequential. Not only is mistrust detrimental to the receiver, it is an arrow of destruction to the giver because in it lies the principle of getting what you believe will probably happen. In negotiations, if you mistrust your opponent they will most likely comply with your mistrust as there is no reason to do otherwise - and that's what you expected. They are already deemed the "bad guy" and it is inevitable that you will find something wrong - that is what mistrust does, it finds something wrong. Thus you lose in the negotiation, even if you win a concession. If mistrust governs one's life, the saying "that which I have feared the most has come upon me" may be an experience you continually orchestrate. By mistrusting others you create a negative environment that is leading to your own destruction. When you trust an individual they are motivated to please because of the trust given to them. This builds their personal character which is the builder of their self worth, the basis of their fulfilled life. When they are accused negatively of an occurrence even before they take an action they might as well take the action. Only those of strong character will choose to do what is right. And this is built by trust. Years after having built a trusting relationship with the staff of Building and Safety LA; the officials allowed me privileges and sanctions to the point where the Secretary of the Commissioners would consult with me personally to determine whether the project was in compliance. The final hearing before the Commissioners resulted in a "rubber stamp" of approval of my application without question or discussion. I thus had plenty negotiating privileges and power at that time. After two years of building negotiating trust, trust ensued. Officials granted millions of dollars of concessions in retrofitting the historic Queen of Angels hospital to a philanthropic institution. Trust others in negotiating until they prove themselves wrong. If they create their own mistrust then you can opt out of the negotiation with your integrity in tact. © A. Allan Meyer, March 2008
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