Dealmaking is part of of all we do in life

NEWS

"Women Can Negotiate!"

by Leigh Harrison

I looked at the price and felt smug satisfaction. I'd got that same pretty little clutch bag MUCH cheaper in Thailand. Yes, women love to shop. You can get a lot out of us for the price of a decent pair of shoes! But more than the joy of shopping we love a bargain.

However, here's the irony. Despite our love of bargains we are mostly wary of negotiating. I don't mean haggling - that tug of war tussle over price. I am talking about those important discussions in our lives where we seek to get value for our time, our work, our products, our money and our possessions.

Vicky Murray, the financial manager of a large corporate, agrees that women often don't negotiate to their benefit. She gives the example of salary negotiations. When asked what we want we suggest R80 000pa, when we know we're worth R1 million. Then when the powers that be accept it, we're peeved they didn't offer us the R1 million, especially if we know that's what John gets.

Growing up I was told when visiting someone else's house never to ask for anything and never to refuse what I was given. The message was, "Be happy with what you get" and "Asking is rude." This plays out in our negotiations when we simply don't ask for what we want, mostly because we're afraid of being perceived as rude, greedy, or demanding. And then we get disappointed we don't get what we deserve.

It's nearly 4.30pm and you are just about to leave work - a standard procedure as you have to pick kids up from aftercare before 5pm. Your boss suddenly appears and asks for some crucial information that will take several hours of research and number crunching and needs to be delivered by 8.30 the next morning. What are your options?

Say, "Of course." Phone your husband to pick up the kids. He'll be late, which means extra payment at the aftercare, take-aways for supper AGAIN and a grumpy husband.
Say, "Cannot. Ask Joe." Now stand to lose favour with your boss, and give Joe an advantage in terms of promotion and other rewards.
Say, "If I can pick up my kids, you pay for supper for me and my family, then I will come back later to get the work done." Will your boss be open to this? Why not? The expectation is unreasonable, you are willing to do the work, in overtime, the least you can expect is something in return.

CEO of PepsiCo SA, Lauren Siebrits, says that women also disadvantage themselves in the negotiating arena because we let our emotions get the better of us. We let our desires and our dislikes rule our decisions. I sat opposite a woman at a birthday celebration lunch who waxed lyrical about this car she had fallen in love with. She had got some expert advice from a friend who warned her against it for several very logical reasons but she would have none of it. Who do you think got the better deal - the woman or the car salesman?

Women can negotiate. We can get our children to eat their vegetables before ice-cream; we can get our partners to wear a jacket and tie to our work function; we negotiate many aspects of our time; we negotiate our budgets against the end of the month. We now also need to learn how to negotiate top drawer deals for ourselves and our businesses by being bold enough to ask, setting creative conditions to our yes, and keeping our emotions in check.